Welcome to a brand new month, a brand new year! I’m 9 days late, don’t judge me!! Now that you’ve had a few days to get adjusted, I’m sure we’ve all made a few resolutions for this new year that we’re oh so ready to stick to, right?!?! I know I did and I am. Remember when I started this blog to chronicle my weight loss journey? I haven’t done the best job of that, but oh baby, that’s about to change! It hasn’t been easy to stay motivated because the progress hasn’t been exactly what I wanted it to be. The problem with that mindset is that I can’t only be motivated when things are looking good. I have to take those bad days or bad weeks and turn them around. Our motivation can’t leave just because the scale isn’t moving. Some weeks, it won’t truly. That doesn’t mean we give up and find the nearest Krispy Kreme hot light. (I’m guilty of it though. Lemon filled is so hard to pass up.) However, the best part is that there has been progress and I know what to do now! #lessonlearned
Take care of yourself more.
Worry about opinions less.
Do this for you.
Don’t compete with anyone even if they are silently competing with you.
Run your race.
Stay the course.
It will get tough, but it will be worth it.
You may doubt yourself, but keep pushing anyway.
2018…here we come!
#allthatiam #letstakeitupanotch #changeyourmindchangeyourlife
Hey You! Glad you stopped by to read the thoughts that were swimming around in my mind that finally made it to my blog. I started a post last week but never finished it. This one…it’s important to me so I know someone needs to read it for themselves as well.
So 2017 has been quite a year for me. Some of it good, and some of it not so good. I decided to lose weight and really stick to it this time. I did for a while and lost some weight but it wasn’t my targeted goal. I have a long way to go to my goal weight and size, but I know for a fact that I have the right tools in my arsenal to reach the finish line. When you’re obese and have a lot of weight to lose, it’s hard, but not impossible. The one thing that I’ve learned is that it’s an emotional journey. These pounds didn’t add up out of nowhere. I’d been eating my emotions instead of dealing with them. Stress eating is real! So learning how to manage my stress is key. I don’t have all of the answers yet, but I’m getting there. The best lesson I learned with my weight loss is that it takes time. It’s okay to not drop a large amount of weight in 6 months or a year. Some people do it and I’m super PROUD of them because that took dedication and perseverance to the max! I still get to pat myself on the back for dropping my pounds and inches as well because that also took dedication and hard work. Remember I told you that comparison is the thief of joy? My journey is mine to have and I’m blessed to celebrate every milestone. Make sure to celebrate yours!
I’ve lost some relationships along the way this year. AND IT HURT!!!! I promised I cried just like this…LOL but seriously, I never imagined things would play out the way they have with some people. In my heart, I thought they would be around for the long haul. I’ve cried about it, prayed about it and at some point, I came to a place of peace about it. I had to understand that while I’m not for everybody, everybody is not for me. There are relationships that have run their course but you’re not ready to let go of. Then, things happen and the relationship implodes and the damage is irreparable. You have to let go and recognize that the season came to an end on that particular relationship. Life doesn’t end because of the dissolution of friendships or other relationships. It stinks, but it is truly a part of the life cycle. While it is hard to let some people go, it’s necessary for where you’re about to go next in your life. If that person is supposed to come back around, the will in due time.
Remember that words cannot be taken back and they do more damage than you can even imagine. I had the most humbling moment yesterday because of something I said just a few weeks ago. I’m all about peace. My favorite scripture is Prov. 3:17 which states, “Her paths are ways of pleasantness and all her ways are peace.” Yet, I’d unknowingly caused a whole domino effect of anything but PEACE! While I was still in my feelings about how a situation was handled, the Holy Spirit dropped something amazing into my spirit. Catch this…I’m stubborn and stuck in my ways of thinking. THAT does not sound like peace or being pleasant. While I didn’t necessarily want to address an issue caused by my mouth, I very well couldn’t leave it like it was. I know what type of woman I strive to be and I can’t sit back and allow things to happen around me when I have control over them. I have to create peace and live peaceably among those that I may or may not care for. The Holy Spirit also checked me on the reason why I may not care for the person whose peace I disturbed. At first, I felt like crap. Then I felt lighter because I knew that even in a situation that I caused, God was in it guiding me to getting back to my path of peace. I love God for real! Even when I think He’s far away from me, He shows up and helps me to be a better person. Remember that while we can’t change the things we’ve said or done in the past, we can take the lesson it teaches and apply it to be better. Some will receive your genuine change and growth, some will not. That’s not up to you. All you can do is continue to learn from your mistakes and use them to change for the greater.
2017 has been about change and adapting to the changes around me. My sister is having a baby tomorrow, LITERALLY TOMORROW and I can’t wait to meet him. A new baby in our already cluttered home presents some challenges but they’re only challenges if we allow them to be. He is a blessing and I know my nieces are going to be great big sisters to him. I’m blessed to have the family that I do. The support that they give is unmatched! I’ve always known that my sisters and brother are there for me to support me. I think for a while, I’ve looked for outside support, but in reality they’re my biggest cheerleaders. I told my brother I was going back to school and he was proud of me for taking the steps I need to academically. I’m very quiet at home, I don’t always tell my family what’s going on with me, but that’s going to change. I’ve learned I can count on them because honestly, they know me best. If you have a family or friends that you truly consider family, invest your time with them. We so often take our family for granted that we don’t cultivate friendships because we automatically think they’ll be around. Tomorrow is not promised. The rest of today isn’t even promised. Tell the people you love that you love them as often as you can. They need to know. People say that what’s understood doesn’t have to be explained. Sure okay…
Love and appreciation can be an understood concept. For example, it’s understood that a mother loves her child or that a husband loves his wife. If it’s never spoken or shown through action…how do you know? So yes, give the words because those around you need to hear it. Can’t you just feel the warm and fuzzies already??
A few things I did right in 2017…
I dropped 30 lbs! #glowup
I motivated some people to come to Zumba and get it shaking! #bfabfitness
I prayed for people that didn’t always treat me well because I realized that I might be the only person praying for them. #showupGod
I enrolled in courses to complete my Associate’s degree in Crime Scene Investigation and will start in January. #degreeseekinggal
What did you learn this year? What lessons really pulled at your heart and showed you who you are? What things hurt you but really worked out in your favor? Think about it. 2018 is around the corner and people always say new year, new you. I don’t want to be a new me, I just want to improve on the foundation I’ve got. I’ve set many goals and haven’t stuck to them. I’m not going to stop setting goals just because of that. I’m going to learn the art of consistency and the art of pushing through. The art of keep it moving. The art of determination. The art of adjusting the goal if it was unrealistic to begin with lol! The art of allowing God to move through me so that I don’t get in my own way. I pray that this year has taught you many things and that you turn it into something beautiful even if it hurt in the process. You’re bigger than the hurt and the lessons. It’s okay to fall down, just keep getting right back on up. We win every single time we do! Believe in yourself even if no one else does and know that God is with you every single step of the way. #allthatiam #growingupfinally #my29thchaptertaughtme
I pray everyone reading this is in good spirits and doing well. I pray that your life is reflective of what you want it to be and that you are walking on the path to your goals and dreams! I’ve been missing in action for a while. I didn’t mean to be, but clearly I was in my own head. I was on vacation with my family earlier this month which was fun but stressful too. Disneyworld+2 young nieces=Headache for Auntie! But it was great. I loved spending time with my family. I’m so glad the holidays are coming up because I’ll get to spend more time with them hopefully.
Now where in the world have I been other than in Florida??? I’ve been in my own head. Have you ever been so wrapped up in your thoughts that you don’t really see everything around you? Have you ever had an episode of depression but had no idea that you were wrapped in a fog until you came out of it? Well, let me raise my hand and say that that’s what’s been going on. I don’t know how I got there, but I was STUCK! Not that I was unhappy, which is weird. I was just stuck in a depressed place. I could not figure out why it was so hard to get out of the bed. I could not figure out why when I left work, the only place I wanted to be was my bed. I thought I was in need of some alone time…NOT! I was overwhelmed. Overwhelmed by debt and not being able to get out of this cycle of a consistently overdrafted checking account. Overwhelmed by the fact that I’d planned on being in school this month, but that didn’t work because of finances. Overwhelmed by the reality that without a degree, I can’t get jobs that I am more than qualified to do based on my work history. Supremely overwhelmed by that fact that I haven’t been working out consistently or eating right. Overwhelmed by…life. Sometimes life is just too much.
The only thing that has helped to pull me out of my cloud…is God. I can’t take credit for the smile on my face or the peace in my heart. He placed me around people who encourage me and tell me that I can make it. We all need someone. I like to think I’m a loner, but in reality, I need people around me that make me better. We all do. If the people you’re surrounded by don’t help pull you up, then you’re with the wrong crowd. You need to get new friends and acquaintances. Things get better in life when you decide that they need to. I’ve applied for some jobs and let’s all pray (hope, wish) that I get a call back and a new door is opened. I don’t hate my job; I just don’t like the environment I’m in. There’s no future here and I’m cut out for greater. I have to get back into my workout routine, there’s no way around it. If I want to see the results I said I wanted, I have to do the work. Plain and simple. Will I work out today? No, I have some cleaning to do at home that is way past overdue. You ever notice that your bedroom is a reflection of how you feel? When I’m at total peace with myself, my bedroom is organized with everything in its rightful place. When I’m frustrated, my bra gets flung wherever and shoes lay where I’ve taken them off instead of the closet or shoe bin. DISORGANIZED! So I’ve got to go make my physical space peaceful again. I want to be joyful, which emanates from the inside out and is not conditional. My bank account will right itself and my debt will get paid off. It’s just a matter of time. It took time to mess my credit up, it will take time to get it back right. Nothing in this world has an overnight fix.
Don’t let the dark storm clouds crowd your vision or invade your space. Yes, they will come, but how long they stay is truly up to you. If you battle with depression, like I do, please talk to someone. Please seek the help that you need. Mental illness is real and is something that a lot of people have dealt with and been able to overcome. Don’t be ashamed to say you’ve dealt with or are dealing with depression or any other mental illness. It’s not who you are, it’s just something you have. Once you admit it, you can look it in the face and deal with it properly. Medication is an option for some, but it’s not the only way. Prayer and healthy relationships are another way to keep you from slipping into a depressed state. Above all of that, your mind has to be in a good place. You have to know who you are and whose you are. I belong to Jesus. He loves me and speaks well of me. When I have negative thoughts of everything I’m not doing right, I rely on his word. I’ve listed a little below, but to find out more about how God feels about you, click here Who Does God Say That I Am?
- God Love me and has chosen me.
We know, brothers, and sisters loved by God, that he has chosen you… (1 Thessalonians 1:4)
- God supplies all my needs.
And God will supply your every need according to his glorious riches in Christ Jesus (Philippians 4:19)
- I am God’s workmanship created to produce good works.
For we are his workmanship, having been created for good works that God prepared beforehand so we may do them (Ephesians 2:10)
So if God is present in my life and loved me enough to create me for greater, then I shouldn’t be so hard on myself. I shouldn’t proverbially beat myself up because life isn’t looking like I thought it would. I literally had a plan 2 months ago of what October would look like financially and it has not come to pass. That doesn’t mean that I have to give up my financial freedom plans or tell myself I suck because of it. I have to stay the course and remember that everything happens for a reason.
So true story: I told my friend the other day at brunch that life is so funny. She and I met at work and on the outside have no connections to one another other than that. We started talking one day about college and guys at school. Mind you, she’s not from Nashville but interestingly enough, we both used to like the same guy at different times in life until we realized he was slow LMAO!! Two different girls from two different cities who’d went to different schools but still managed to know the same people. It hit me that everything in life is interconnected. It may not seem like much to you, but it’s enormous to me! When we moved to Nashville in 1996, my mom wanted to live in a different subdivision not far from where we settled in. If she’d had her way, I wouldn’t have been able to go to the schools I went to. I wouldn’t have met the friends I’d made in high school who knew the slow guy. I wouldn’t have that common thread with my friend now. There are very few degrees of separation in life these days. Even back in 1996, I feel like God was already setting me up for a friendship in 2017. Not that that’s the only thing we have in common, but still, that’s a crazy thing to have in common lol.
God makes no mistakes. He made none when he made you and even when He allowed things to happen that were sent to grow and mature you. So this is my season of handling things with maturity and grace. Times get tough, but I’m tougher. You are too. I don’t know who’s reading this and maybe I’m just writing for myself today, but I want to tell you that you matter. You’re important to this life cycle. Your voice, your smile, your thoughts, THEY MATTER! So if you feel like giving up because life keeps playing jai alai with your emotions, DON’T!! It gets better. You will breathe easier. There is always calm after the storm. So show those dark clouds who is in control. Get out of that rut and get back to you. It’s ok. You’re ok. Tell yourself that every single day. Nothing is too hard for you and God to conquer together. I love you. Love on yourself today. #allthatiam #selflove #positiveselftalk
Hey there my friends! I just wanted to make a quick post about something I’ve been dealing with. I figured maybe someone out there needed to hear this because they’d been dealing with it too! I’m dealing with self doubt and it SUCKS!!
On this fight with my fat, I’ve been gaining and losing the same 5 pounds for literally 2 months now. I can’t get below 296. It’s been extremely frustrating for me. I truly don’t know what to do. So I’ve been feeling a little down on myself. Feeling too fluffy, not attractive enough, not like myself. Just negative feelings towards myself. I didn’t feel good about me honestly. I couldn’t pinpoint what it was though. I hadn’t been taking my antidepressants (still haven’t really) and thought maybe I needed to get back on a regimen. I’m terrible at remembering to take them, so I generally don’t. Plus, I’m usually in a good mood and pretty even-keeled! I literally just had this revelation this morning when talking to a coworker. Say it with me so we’re in unison: I’m fine.
God is taking care of me. He is walking with me and working things out on my behalf. It’s been raining in the afternoon randomly at my job for the past few days. Yesterday, the sun was shining so beautifully but it was also pouring down rain. That scene is a parallel for life. Life is beautiful but at the same damn time, it can be rainy. We need the rain though because we wouldn’t revel in the sunshine as much without it. As I drove in the rain-shine, I saw a rainbow. I couldn’t do anything but thank God! Rainbows are God’s promise to us that everything is going to be okay. I needed that reassurance because there’s so much going on in my life at this time. I’m trying to do huge things for myself that are taking a lot of time because they require a lot of groundwork. Trust me, I’m just fine with doing the work, but sometimes I wonder, will I really get there? To that place that I want to be. Financially. Mentally. Weight-lossily (new word alert!). So thank God for his word. I shared this verse with my coworkers this morning. Our work environment is not the most encouraging or mess-free place to work. I wanted them to know that even though it seems like we’re not making an impact, we are. I love how God places us in situations where we get to uplift others even when we may not be feeling too uplifted ourselves. I love to encourage people but I find that I don’t always have the means to encourage myself! So in encouraging them, I encouraged myself. This is exactly why God’s word never returns void. We are created in His image and He knew us before we were ever a thought in our parent’s minds. So right where you are today is exactly where you’re supposed to be. Even if where you are doesn’t look good, doesn’t feel good and you can’t see the light at the end of the tunnel. God made you to be a light for people who otherwise don’t have one. Sometimes that light is as bright as pretty new headlights on a BMW 3 series. Sometimes that light is as small a nightlight making someone feel safe in the midst of their darkness. It’s taken me years to understand encouragement, true encouragement. I tell everyone around me how much I love my Zumba class, I talk about it every single blog because I REALLY DO LOVE IT! I always ask people around me to go with me because it’s a great environment and I always want people to move with me. Whenever someone says they have a goal, I’m going to cheer-lead for them like I’m Torrance from Bring It On. #lovethatmovie
I want everyone around me to succeed. That being said…I want myself to succeed! I have to start treating myself better and allowing myself to really just live this thing out one day at a time. God made me for greatness. I’m not sure of everything He created me for, but I know a little bit. Moments like these remind you of humility. I’m human and I have flaws. God still loves me and I need to continue to love on myself. He created me for these moments when I can share with everyone reading this. He allowed my moments of insecurity to remind me of who He is and how He sees me. I’m a work of art. Every pound, every inch, every dimple. You are too. Love yourself. Lose yourself in how much you are valued. I know a piece of my purpose is to encourage others. You are fearfully and wonderfully made. How do I know? God said it and it is so (Psalm 139:14). The next time you’re feeling down or like you can’t do it, remember that you were made with love in mind. You have the ability, now just develop the mindset. You were made to do it. Keep pressing and trusting the process. You’re beautiful. You’re handsome. You’re amazing. You’re smart. You’re kind. You’re loving. You’re going to make it happen, whatever it is! Tell yourself these things everyday until it just becomes a piece of you and not something you may be trying to convince yourself of. As always, remember why you started. Know that there is someone looking at your story and thinking WOW, I want to do what they’re doing. Be yourself and embrace yourself. You were made for it!
Now go be great!! XOXO #allthatiam
I’m so glad to see the weekend again, you have no IDEA!! It feels like I’ve been tired all week which is supremely weird. Usually I have more energy but this week…not so much. No worries, I’ve made my way to both Zumba class and good old Planet Fitness. The scale is moving in the right direction, thank you LORD!! I started the month at 298.8, and I’ll weigh in in the morning to see what this week’s progress tells me. Last Saturday I was at 296.0 which is AWESOME! Prayerfully I’ve done well enough to see the scale move down again. Fingers crossed!!!
I cannot believe how this year is flying by! Time stands still for no one. Especially not this girl! 8 full months have gone by and 6 months of that I’ve been on this weight loss journey.
What did you accomplish in August that you’d never done before? Did you complete all of your goals? Did you have to tweak your goals due to other things going on? Did you scrap your goals altogether and say bump it? HUGE THUMBS UP to you if you made it through August slaying those goals! For the rest of us (me included), we’ve got WERK to do! I know every post I say it’s okay and we can pick ourselves back up, which is true. Today I’m saying we need to focus on consistency! CONSISTENCY is the key. It’s the only thing that will propel us to a win!
The last two weeks have been a little bit of a personal hell for me! I strained my knee at my Zumba class last Monday and I had decent mobility so I kept trucking. I kept working out on this bad, swollen knee ALL week until Friday. When I left work on Friday, I went straight home, put a knee brace on and sat still. IT SUCKED!!! Icing it and elevation helped the swelling go down. I hated not being able to work out though. Saturday morning, I woke up with chest pains. JUST GREAT! I went to the ER because there was a weird tingling sensation in my left arm and I for real thought I was having a heart attack or dealing with a blood clot. That was a very scary moment for me. Well, after a battery of tests and x-rays, it was not my heart nor was it a blood clot. Thank you Lord!
The doctor suggested it might be indigestion but I didn’t know for sure until later in the afternoon. The pain in my chest subsided due to the medication the nurse gave me but it came back after returning home. I was in TEARS, real TEARS! So get this…it turns out there was gas sitting in my body that needed to be expelled. GAS! I started drinking sparkling water to see if I could burp (GROSS) and once I did, the pressure started to cease. It took about 4 cans and a ton of patting my breast bone, but OMG I felt so much better! I don’t quite know how that happened but I drink carbonated water every day now just to make sure gas is being released. I never want that to happen again!!So in the midst of all of that…I still can’t work out! I could eat right though. Did I? NOPE! I was slick depressed about my health but here I was eating crud. Emotional eating is a vicious cycle. I’m identifying my triggers better and learning some more of that good old fashioned self control. I felt helpless. I couldn’t breath, was having mobility problems and I was stuffing my face. Things got better though. My knee is fully mobile again, just a slight bit of discomfort when extending it all the way. I was able to go back to Zumba on Tuesday though and thank goodness my knee let me shine! It feel good to twerk it out and burn a ton of calories. I was back in my groove. Even had a salad for dinner!
Fast forward to this week at work. I had a problem at work in which my manager knew about for months now, so it should’ve already been handled. The problem was getting to be too much for me and I needed it handled immediately. Said manager failed to handle it properly and caused some hostility in the workplace. Now I love the Lord and trying my best to be as holy as I can some days…but I wanted to act a straight fool. I wanted to lose my cool and go the hell off. The manager was out of order for how she handled the problem. My coworker was too for calling me out of my name and playing it like I went off on him when I didn’t. When you get me mad…that’s a whole other side of my usually docile self. I had to take a lesson from A Different World…
Thank goodness I have people in my corner who back me up but also know how to calm me down. I had to remember that some people simply suck. There’s no other way to put it. They suck, but don’t go sucking because they do. Be great. Keep your integrity even when others don’t. It’ll bless you.
So life kinda took a dip for a little bit. I was ready to be like bump it, I didn’t wanna be all health nutty. I wanted to eat everything in my path. I didn’t feel like working out. I FELT LIKE QUITTING!!! I didn’t want to focus on my long term goals any longer. But that simply didn’t make sense! Why want to give up when I’ve made progress? Why give up when I’m on the right path? Feeling defeated is one thing, but actually giving in to that defeat is another. This is HARD! I’m fighting every single day to make good choices in food and making sure I’m active. My fitbit probably thinks I don’t have it on some days due to my lack of making myself take steps. So I fell down and fell hard…what now? Just keep swimming. I love Finding Nemo! It is one of my favorite Disney movies because it has so much life being spoken in it for us adults. The kids don’t understand the depth of the lessons they’re being taught all the way, but they do get some of the messages. Just keep swimming is so applicable! You keep going, keep doing, keep fighting! You don’t stop. Never stop going forward or moving to your next milestone! If you stop swimming…what then? You go right back to the very thing that you are working so hard to get away from. So as I encourage you, I’m encouraging myself! JUST KEEP SWIMMING!! JUST KEEP SWIMMING!!
Let those bad habits be replaced by good ones. When that workout alarm goes off in the morning, actually get up and workout instead of pushing snooze. (That’s more for me than you lol!) If you are alive today, then today is your someday and today is your right now! Don’t wait for the perfect conditions to start over or continue this journey. It’s currently rainy outside and I’d planned to walk, so issa no from me. Then I changed that plan to going to the gym. I’m a little salty with PF since they just took their yearly maintenance fees and I’m HOT that I forgot about it. Slick wanted to cancel my membership, but that’s my fault for not putting that on my calendar, not theirs. Whatever the case, I will be getting my step count in today and I WILL have a workout under my belt. I can’t quit now. I’ve come too far and I kinda like blogging about my progress. That’s the reason I started my blog. So that people could see the before, during and after and actually do it with me. So even though I know I don’t have a huge following, someone is reading this and needs to know that they can do it. Maybe it’s just for myself to push me into finishing what I’ve started. Plus…this cruise in March and Barbados for Crop Over in August 2018 are already set in my calendar! I want to buy new bathing suits for my cruise in a smaller size. I want to look good in my costume for Crop Over and feel like a part of the festival’s celebrations. Damn near naked and feeling like a goddess basically!!
I’ve got some work to do, but I’m not afraid of hard work. So our buzz word yet again is CONSISTENCY! A little bit every day is much better than a lot every now and then. A small HIIT (High-intensity Interval Training)/Cardio/Strength Training workout every day is better than a long one once a week. Do a little bit and then you’ll see where you can add a little more and a little more. Remove one thing from your diet that you know is not good for you. Take away soda first. I started doing that but I’m bad about sticking with it. Sparkling water is my favorite substitute these days!! I love the La Croix brand! So I’m going to make sure I have that on hand more often so I don’t run to the vending machine for Sprite.
It’s easy to get overwhelmed by weight loss. Your brain starts to tell you that you have to make these HUGE changes immediately. Unless you have a health condition that calls for you to drastically change your diet, don’t. You will not be happy with the food you’re eating and will binge. You will burn out on those tough exercises you threw yourself into. Trust me, I know lol! Go to your local library and get cookbooks for free. Try new recipes for you and your family. You’ll find foods you enjoy and be so much more pleased with yourself. I don’t know if you have an Aldi food store in your area, but if you do, please go frequently! I found some amazing produce 2 weeks ago for such a low price! I love Publix, this is true, but my wallet isn’t always happy to see them. For the next few days, I want you to make a plan. A workable plan. What are you going to to differently than you’ve done before? What worked for you before that you need to incorporate now? When are you going to do it? No more hoping things get better. We are in ACTION mode now. We’re doers. We’re not sitting on the sideline watching other people be great. We’re being great. Our bodies are ready and our minds are steady. (That rhymed lol.) We have run out of excuses and negative emotions. We’re winners and we will reach our goals. It’s pretty simple when you look at it like that! So we’ll keep swimming in the direction of our results. I love you but you love yourself even more! Until next time…
XOXO #allthatiam #werkwins #winners #shifting